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Perhaps it is best to first look in the scriptures. It is a wonderful gift of God. As such, it is set apart for a divine purpose and is greatly valued. It is an expression of love and intimacy. It should be invested wisely as opposed to lustfully used. God certainly isn't against passion but he doesn't want it to be used to defraud another. That is this should be a gift given to another rather than using another to serve one's own desires. Like any of God's gifts, sex can be used in the way it intended, to build and strengthen intimacy or it can be used in a self serving way. I like the guidelines given by Cloud and Townsend concerning sex in their book Boundaries in Dating: God gives you this boundary to protect you, and it will, in a number of ways.
Do not treat it or your sexuality lightly, failing to give it the place it deserves.
It prevents love, integration and healing and it guarantees relational problems. It will allow you to have a clean slate and start daitng with good sexual boundaries. But true intimacy occurs 7309 many areas, social, emotional, intellectual, etc. When there is pain in one of those areas, rather than address the pain and work through to understanding and intimacy, they will "sex down" their pain only to discover the problem and barriers to intimacy have not gone away. Sometimes this discovery comes after marriage when it is more difficult to address the core issues of intimacy.